Married couples with children often wonder how divorce will negatively impact their kids. Some couples stay together long past the love has ended for the “sake of the kids”. The idea is that staying under one roof and “faking it”, is better than being honest about the failure of the marriage and deciding to separate and divorce.
Children whose parents stay together when it is clear they are no longer in love may feel angry and resentful that their parents didn’t own up to their own truth. The mask wearing doesn’t fool anybody and it only makes life under one roof more tumultuous and frustrating. It is like living with a problem that refuses to get solved.
Amicable divorces are possible. Parents have a choice of how they are going to behave and react as the shifts take place, dividing them from one another. Egos aside, children may greatly benefit when the adults take responsibility for the failed relationship and act to improve their lives and happiness through a divorce.
Setting an example
Amicable divorces help set an example to the kids that adults can admit their wrongs and live separate lives while acting respectful. It is possible for kids to see their parents forgiving each other and moving on in a healthy manner. This example is more beneficial and authentic than trying to fake a marriage for the sake of the kids when both partners know the relationship is dead.
We teach our children to be honest. We teach our children to respect, forgive, and offer solutions. We can also demonstrate these characteristics when divorcing. Children are not always better off when their unhappy parents stay married and miserable. Oftentimes, the happiest children are the ones whose parents remained truthful and honest and showed resiliency and hope throughout every hardship. There is always a better way.