If you are heading toward a divorce, it is understandable if feel angry, resentful or any other emotions that may seem paralyzing at times. While it may be tempting to allow those emotions to guide you through the divorce process, doing so may leave you with regrets. If you have the chance to end your marriage with a gentle form of dissolution such as mediation, there are negative steps you can take to sabotage the process and complicate your future.
As much as it may seem like your divorce is the end of your marriage, it is also the beginning of your new life. The decisions you make and the actions you take can have a considerable impact on whether your post-divorce life is successful or a struggle.
Eyes on the goal
Mediation is a method of divorce that involves meeting with your spouse to negotiate the terms of your divorce. You and your spouse decide together how you will divide your joint property, balance child custody schedules and arrive at fair support settlements. Even couples who are going through contentious divorces often find that mediation is possible and that it offers them a chance to reach decisions that are more personalized than a court order.
Unfortunately, the high emotions of a divorce might lead you to any of the following actions that may be detrimental to a successful mediation:
- Deciding you will not back down on any of your demands or deciding to sit passively through the process
- Making comments you know will enrage or injure your spouse
- Falsely accusing your spouse of actions that could greatly harm him or her, such as abuse, addiction or infidelity
- Hiding assets from your spouse
- Using the children as pawns to get what you want
- Finding ways to use the process to exact revenge on your spouse
- Failing to prepare for the mediation process, such as gathering documents and deciding what you want to achieve
- Forgetting that mediation gives you the control over your situation that a judge would have if you went to court
A divorce settlement is a very personal thing. Even your Maryland attorney cannot decide what you hope to obtain when it is all over. However, a skilled legal advocate experienced in mediation can be a valuable asset in keeping you focused on the goal of reaching a fair and workable agreement that gives you the best opportunity for a positive future.